I Can't Call My Baby 'Baby'

from Enough About Me - ALBUM by Terence Blacker

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lyrics

I know guys who complain
About their private ball and chain
But I'm not one of those.
When I take my woman on the scene
The eyes of guys nearby turn green
I'm a lucky man, I suppose
But I've a problem, I can't lie
It keeps me awake at night.
In my sweet ointment, there's a fly
Something not quite right
When I try to be endearing
The words I use to show I'm caring
Get right up her nose.

My woman's made a little list
Of words she said I must resist
No ifs, no buts, no maybe.
Like 'pet' and 'duck' and 'chick' and 'bird'
Those wicked twentieth century words
I can't call my baby 'baby'.
'Little sweet' or 'cutie pie'
Or 'darling honeybunch'
Makes her feel objectified
Or even part of lunch.
Then she reminds me that
She's not a mewling, infant brat
I can't call my baby 'baby'

'Bunnikin' or 'little lamb',
They're both well and truly banned
I can't call my baby 'baby'.
And 'sugar tits' - that's forbidden
And 'tootsie-wootsie, little kitten'.
I can't call my baby 'baby'
With 'little goose' all hell breaks loose
The same with 'snuggle bum'
She won't reply to 'pussy pie'
I have to bite my tongue
'My Babe' and 'Baby, Please Don't Go'
So many songs I can't sing no mo'
Now I can't call my baby 'baby'.

When I say, 'Babe, gimme a smile'
She says I sound like a paedophile
I can't call my baby 'baby'
And when I call her 'chickadee'
She says, 'What's this, a menagerie?'
I can't call my baby 'baby'
But late at night, when things are hummin'
And getting kinda hot.
Whisp'ring 'darling adult woman'
Just doesn't hit the spot
Then when it's plain to see
She's reached the point of ecstasy
That's when I call my baby 'baby'
(And she just loves it)
Yes, I can call my baby 'baby'.

credits

from Enough About Me - ALBUM, released August 10, 2018
Terence Blacker - vocals, guitar
Jon Loomes - violin
Hugh Bradley - double bass.

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Terence Blacker England, UK

'Classic folk blues in the making.'
FATEA MAGAZINE

'We need cheering up right now and this singer-songwriter, sometimes tender, sometimes sardonic, is just the ticket.' SUNDAY TIMES

Huge fun... it put a big smile on my face.'
TOM ROBINSON, BBC6 Music

'One enormously satisfying album.... humorous, beautiful, deadly, a real treat for the senses.'
LIVERPOOL SOUND AND VISION ... more

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